On getting married and what I wrote to Scott

Some of my readers know that I recently got married. What a fun and crazy experience. At some point, I’ll write a “What I learned” about my experiences with the wedding industry and planning but not right now. My husband makes a beautiful exploration about marriage to him and his letter to me here: https://scottpriz.wordpress.com/2015/10/13/on-getting-married-and-what-i-wrote-to-lisa/

I concur with pretty much everything he says. I want to reiterate how pleased we were that we could celebrate with so many wonderful meaning. They are our world and make us the people we are today. We are sad that we couldn’t invite everyone we wanted to. As anyone who has had a wedding knows, the guest list has to be the hardest part. We worked diligently on it but at the end budgets are a big deal.

I’m also including our readings since we really feel strongly about them:

The Busman’s Honeymoon by Dorothy Sawyers

‘How can I find words? Poets have taken them all, and left me with nothing to say or do ‘Except to teach me for the first time what they mean.’

He found it hard to believe. ‘Have I done that?’

‘Oh, Peter –’ Somehow she must make him believe it, because it mattered so much that he should. ‘All my life I have been wandering in the dark—but now I have found your heart—and am satisfied.’

‘And what do all the great words come to in the end, but that? – I love you – I am at rest with you – I have come home.’

###

Next reading:

If you are Afraid of the Dark, Remember the Night Rainbow by Cooper Edens

If tomorrow morning the sky falls, have clouds for breakfast.

If night falls, use stars for streetlights.

If the moon gets struck in a tree, cover the hole in the sky with a strawberry.

If you have butterflies in your stomach, ask them into your heart.

If you heart catches in your throat, ask a bird how she sings.

If the birds forget their songs,listen to a pebble instead.

If you lose a memory embroider a new one to take its place.

If you lose the key, throw away the house.

If the clock stops, use your own hands to tell time.

If the light goes out, wear it around your neck and go dancing.

If the bus doesn’t come, catch a fast cloud.

If it’s the last dance, dance backwards.

If you find that your socks don’t match, stand in a flowerbed.

If your shoes don’t fit, give them to the fish in the pond.

IF your horse needs shoes, let him use his wings.

If the sun never shines again, hold fireflies in your hands to keep warm.

If you are afraid of the dark, remember the night rainbow. 

If there is no happy ending, make one out of cookie dough.

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Selected reading from Mike Royko:

And now you are what you are: A young married couple.

That gives you something in common with all the young lovers, and older lovers, of a world that sometimes seems loveless.

Nobody is really sure what love is. Shrinks mess around with trying to define it, and just make it sound more complicated than it is. Poets, as neurotic as they are, do a much better job.

I’m not sure what it is myself, except that it leaves you breathless, makes everything else seem unimportant, and can cause you ecstasy and misery and drive you crazy. And also drive you happy.

You are really lucky, you know. You are lucky because you are in love and are beginning a life together. And that’s more important than anything else you do, your work, your place in history, or the opinions, approval, or disapproval of others.

Now when you’re down, someone will take your hand and help you up. When you’re crying, someone will dry your tears. When you’re frightened, someone will hold and reassure you. When you’re alone, someone will tell you you’re not.

That, young prince and young lady, matters more than all the ringing of the bells and the blowing of the trumpets. It’s something almost everybody wants, and not everybody has.

So, kids, good luck and don’t blow it.

###

So here is my letter to my new husband:

It’s remarkable to me that we’ve dated for over six years. It doesn’t feel that way. Each year has been a marvel with you. Since we’ve been together, you have taught me so much about the world and myself. You have taught me that while life can get you down, you can choose to see the magic in it. So far we’ve made a magical life for each other. Since we’ve dated, we’ve thrown a 7 hour circus fundraiser and 2 First Ward Balls, performed as temperance workers at a bar and a beer festival, gotten chased by an elephant, hiked in the foggy mountains of Wales and so much more. We’ve made our little nation of one. We’ve made life magical because we chose it.

There’s so much that I love about you. You are a kind, sweet person. You sometimes only remember the good things people do, and willfully forget the wrong they’ve done to you. It’s something that I aspire to. Forgiveness is hard but you have mastered it. You show kindness to everyone, helping friends in any way you can. You help people move, you give hugs, and so much more just to make the world a tiny bit better.

Everywhere you go, you make people happy and cheerful just by being yourself.  Joy emanates from you like light from the sun. I love your silliness and your creativity. I love that I never quite know what is going to happen next. Maybe a fish in suspenders?  I can’t wait to see what new things the —— Brothers are going to get into in the future.

You are witty and brilliant. You astonish me with your knowledge of history and more. I love story time with you even if my nonsense alarm goes off a lot. I love how you weave truth and fiction together into a story, especially stories about Chicago. I’m so proud you are in law school while working and taking circus classes. It’s remarkable how you handle all three (and me) with grace and excellence.

I love that you are willing to take risks. You’ve tried and excelled at trapeze, tight wire, acrobatics, and now law school. You’ve emboldened me to try new things.  That’s been a big thing for me. With you, I feel more confident about myself to take risks, to try things that I barely dreamt of. I feel more like myself than I ever have because of your encouragement.

I am excited about spending the rest of our lives together. Each year has been better than the rest, which were all pretty damn good. I know that our lives together will be a wonderful adventure. After all, this marriage started with a cross-city scavenger hunt involving 16 of our friends (and their children) with clues, feats of daring do, and more.  I can’t wait to see the world with you. I know that things will happen good and bad, and I know that we’ll have the strength and courage to keep calm and carry on. Maybe we’ll get chased by another elephant.

I love you. I can’t wait to drink tea together for the rest of our lives.

###

That’s all for now!

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